Rona on Grey, Full Moon Gratitude


Full Moon the other night.
I found such comfort in her beautiful brightness.


I’ve been seeing the positive changes.

 1)  Mitchell and I have both had increasing arthritic issues,
and kept talking about going on a cleansing diet but oatmeal cookies and ice cream kept finding their way int our groceries (how does that happen?)
NOW we are on a cleansing diet… and I can feel the shift in my body feeling better.

2)  Losing weight.  Both of us.

3)  Not taking food for granted.  Let me explain.
We are meat eaters, but don’t eat meat regularly… and make sure it is both organic (if possible — you can’t do that with beef) and dispatched in a humane way.
I always had a package of something that I could pop into our little oven here at the studio if we were working late and in a hurry, and I didn’t give it much thought.
Now,living mostly on beans and rice, I am paying attention to the flavors, making that a priority as much as any other important activity.

4)  And I am SO grateful for all the food at our table, anytime.
I mean praying again, giving thanks.

5)  And I am playing with new flavors… otherwise, beans and rice can get boring.

6)  We are pretty good about having clean rags to reach for instead of paper towels, but with the level of cleaning we are doing now at home and office, it is essential — so,
shockingly, we’ve cut our consumption to a roll in two weeks!
That won’t change as Rona moves on, because it is habit now.

So, looking for the pony in this shit time!
What are you grateful for?

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Rona on Grey, Family


This is not a commentary on the Buddha or Buddhism, which is very much
a positive force in my life.  I can’t publish the written parts that go with it…
It is very much a personal statement and involves family members
that are still alive and so, no publishing the commentary.

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Rona on Grey, Morning Ritual


Rona changed our morning ritual.

Really, she’s changed so many things on subtle levels,
and they are now becoming real as we move into them.


Finally got to weeping.

After a month of putting out fires, dealing with clients and issues in shipping in our business, and also slogging through some terribly blue days,
a friend posted a simple sadness thinking about her dogs not knowing
where she was if something happened to her.
Tears finally came, and they would not stop, so bouts of weeping as i did this or that.
Depression lifted quite a bit; crying does that.
Don’t hold back those tears… They are good for you..


Our morning ritual.
(Yes for now we are still using our Fiestaware while I wait to hear back from the CEO.)
I gave up coffee so Mitchell’s supply would last.
I don’t miss the coffee too much — though the non-coffee headaches lasted a 3 days!
I miss Mitchell brewing the coffee in the studio while I begin work,
smelling the skunky aroma, slicing a hank of ginger so thin,
and him bringing me my coffee-ginger-brown-sugar-gaot-milk coffee in a cheery mug.

But I’d rather he had it!

I love tea, and since I found the Teaspot
(Tracey Fletcher King’s art took me there)
I love it even more: Tumeric Herbal, Ginger Peach, Mango Tango, and Morning Mojo.

Funny thing, he is now drinking tea in the afternoon,
trying the teas I suggest and sampling what I haven’t yet
(you can order samplers of tea if you like).

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Lojong 52: Misinterpretation

I’ve studied through the slogans a dozen times in my life;
these are my musings on the slogan currently, what comes up on the day that
I am posting the slogan,
not a formal interpretation.
For that reason they are less about straight Buddhist teachings,
and I think able to be shared with most practitioners of other faiths or no faith
(unless yours doesn’t allow you to read any other tradition.)
If you have time and the inclination, I published the WHOLE  thang here!


“#50: Don’t misinterpret.”

Important message for this time of ‘Rona, but really,
it drives home the point that any time can be a time when paying attention
to exactly what is said can save your life or someone else’s.

☾

I want to talk about practice
in the most stressful of times.  This is like a war zone.
Bombs are not dropping, but we are surrounded by an invisible, potentially deadly virus, making the a simple
tasks — going to market —
something to be considered.
The numbers and staggering.
The rules as they study the pandemic keep changing. I was putting out fires for four weeks, new protocols, protections on doing business, and the occasional crazy client.

☾

I was not doing formal practice daily.
I was falling into bed dead tired, or sleepless, wide eyed and going over lists.
I really lost my center a lot.

I realized the toll my frightened worry had on my husband and even the cats.
I started setting a timer on the phone to make me stop and center, breath,
send and take, and our environment shifted for the better.
Mitchell came forward with his feelings/worries about his brother
(he was not taking care of me so much so there was space for him to BE.)
The cats began to be less clingy, more their old selves,
zipping around the halls of the studio with their antics…
Their antics are a joy for us, and that in turn provided laughter and release.

Take time to practice.  Center.  Breathe.

If you don’t have a strong practice in place then do this:
When you are heading into negative and no-productive thoughts,
Stop and write down or say aloud ten things for which you are thankful.
Fear and worry causes your immune system to drop;  t
his is an easy antidote to worry and fear, and if you have to do it ten times a day!

This is a nice experimentation that I am doing…
Shellac on paper, ink, then a spritzing to move some of the ink..

In this weekly commentary on the lojong, I am interested in hearing about
YOUR life or how the lojong affected you or your practice awakening in some manner.
For more info about why, go here.

 OE or OKINA NOTEBOOKS (my favorite journals, also known as Cadic),
Blackwing pencil, shellac, ink.
Note: As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

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Rona on Grey, Cooking


I have an advance of the new Hahnemühle Toned Watercolour Book
(review coming after I have played in it).
I was going to test it, but then save ti for something really special.
Then Rona came to our shores with her ideas:
she is a world-changing life-changing reality.

I guess that IS special.


First off, I was overwhelmed.
We had not been to the market in two weeks, and what was fresh was becoming tired;
I didn’t want to lose what we had.

Chicken Pot Au Feau, two chilies, and a beef stew.
Cooking therapy, chopping and simmering and smelling restorative aromas.
A plus, meals for months to lift us when we tire of beans and rice.

Inside my refrigerator freezer.
*yes we also have a small freezer to hold more*

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Cat Squares, 13: Tape


13. TAPE IS NOT A TOY

We have resorted to putting it in
small loops on a couple of things we
absolutely cannot keep our willful, innocent-looking “kitten” from climbing.  We tried squirting her with the water pistol.
No deterrent.  She is going to climb.
So, tape; small loops so it doesn’t
wrap around her head and scare her
to death, just stick to her and
make her upset and uncomfortable. 

She is turning it into a toy;
she tares at it for hours figuring out how to take it off without getting it on her.

I can hear her now, her muffled,
“mmmrr” cuz’ it’s in her mouth RIGHT NOW!

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Covid-19 Journal, 3

Continuing Covid-19 journal…

Finishing this journal… moving on.
When I decided to do
these folding journals for
Covid-19 reflections,
I wanted the virus writing and sketching
to be separate from our lives.
HA!
I thought this was going
to be a few weeks, maybe a month.
Now we know it is likely
(barring a miracle cure)
to go on for a year or two…
So I am starting my next
“normal” journal… and Covid
will just be a big or small
part of that journal depending
upon how this pandemic plays out.

It was a horrible moment when we realized that it was unwise to have
our dear friend be the guardian of our furbabies (in the event both of us
were sick or died) due to medical complications in her life.
We had been thinking only in terms of her stress and life,
then suddenly realized it impacted a potential problem in ours.
The good news is I reached out to the woman who, along with her
wonderful family, fostered both Gibbs and Izzee, and asked if she would be
their caretaker as our other options had big dogs, or they would become ranch cats —
which two of them would not survive.
So I had to rewrite our wills and our directives… telling her and whomever
they might end up with about them, asking that at least two pairs be kept together.
I wept throughout, going for huggs from Mitchell (he worked) and frankly,
writing this made our resolve not to go out
at all except to the mailbox once every couple weeks stronger.

Stress causes more than sleepless nights.
It also causes arthritis to flare up.
I don’t care what any  damn doctor says — most know NOTHING about pain.
So from personal experience, stress causes me pain.

I don’t listen to the news if it is the Moronavirus-in-Chief talking.
He will reverse himself daily,
and it is stressful to hear him advise
the nation of exactly the wrong information.
He didn’t start this virus, but his
incompetency is going to cost more
lives lost and more economic
hardship, starting with the refusal
of the testing kits from the
World Health Organization weeks ago.

Instead, I listen to Governor Cuomo on
CSPAN daily, and other experts who
know what they are talking about.
Our own Governor is quite weak willed
and has not done enough. My opinion.

Trump also dismantled the Pandemic Response Team…. This is not political,
this is of huge importance to all of us.  I am furious.
I see him as a cult leader, and unfortunately his decisions effect others
who are not drinking his Koolaid.

Both Mitchell and I are working
slower than usual (thankful for
having work in studio!)  I find I’m
easily distracted and forgetful.
I sometimes walk into a room several
times and forget what I needed only
to walk back into the treatment room
and remember, then do it all over again.
I can’t hold onto numbers at all,
even our damn address, and forget
names as if I have dementia.  I am
emotional and worried.  I cry easily
and get pissed off easier than usual,
not at Mitchell but at the world.
I’m an insomniac, and find I go
between sleepless nights, then one day
I slept hard for about 18 hours.

Anyone else out there feeling this?
I know a few friends are and it is comforting to know if
I am losing my mind I am in good company.

A tip for those of you who do not want to go to the store:
I will recommend Amazon (not the Whole Foods delivery service as they are overwhelmed) and see what you can find — they have some items you can buy in bulk
and they are not gouging. Also Vitacost.com (Krueger) will replenish their selection.
Their shipping is free after I think $45 and they have many good food items.
They sell out (right now) but are restocking. When a package arrives we let it set off to one side (a garage is ideal) for three days, in which time anything that is one it is dead.

We may be overreacting, but for us, the risk of the market (death) is not one we are willing to take.  The virus is bad, but people being stupid is where the real risk is happening.

This journal is finished, and I am thankful.  I’d rather simply work now in my normal journal… And this whole life-changing virus thang will be part of our lives now.  Horrible but true…

Above, all kinds of images that relate to me
grappling with the corona madness.

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Covid-19 Journal, 2

Continuing Covid-19 journal…

It feels good to write a word for how
I am
feeling at a given time;
feelings roller-coaster
through the day like Portland weather.

I  am selective about the news I read. I don’t want to hear from the moron-in-chief.

It’s been two weeks since we went to
the market. Another week and we will
miss oranges, bananas. Our apples may
last longer.  We’ve decided for now it is
not worth the risk to go to the market.
We have frozen berries and bananas
and canned pineapple and can make
watery smoothies with protein powder
to get a hit of fruit or ice cream!

I tried to cheer Mitchell and I with some homemade oatmeal cookies.
I do not have the right ingredients and just went for it with what I have.
Not that successful!

We are playing this day by day.

About to flip this folding journal over and move to the back side.
Ink seeped through from me working it; I’ll make it part of my backside ramblings.
Life is certainly messy right now and
the Universe is having its way with us so why not go with the flow?

On the thirteenth day since they confirmed this a “World Pandemic.”
I had a sleepless night. Could not sleep at all.
I was up when the New Moon began to wax again.
I imagine others are also having sleepless nights…
on the other hand, worry can be exhausting.
I have to find a way through this.  I am too scattered for art.
My writing in this post is all over the place…
I am handling business, calming clients,
and can’t afford the time to write until I have a break through in a journal.

We decided not to go to the market again, but we had not shopped to
hunker down for a couple months.  We shopped, as we do, for about two weeks.
The only thing different is that we had picked up a few cases of items
we buy for the business, replenishing our stock.

Home to sleep-to-work and back again. 

When the Stay-at-Home order came, people flaunted it!  Insane!
Completely inappropriate, in denial, business-as-usual,
and we decided not to go anywhere but to the post box every couple weeks,
to hunker down for months.
This was going to get very bad, and we had each other and no one else.

Stupid knows no party lines;
our governor is wishy-washy with her orders.

We began to run low on fresh things, and many began to look tired.
I decided to take all of our remaining fresh veggies and turn them all into stews.
I did it in the big studio kitchen.

Cooking is therapy, a mediation.  I center, and think without thinking.

As I tried to decide how to best use what we had
(no onions, but a handful of sad green onions),
separating items into piles to go with some Italian Sausage
(made into chili with beans, and frozen fresh tomato base I put up last summer)
and stew beef (using the last sweet potato, some frozen mushroom with onions),
one thing stands out.  We are blessed.
We have a safe environment, for now, we have food, and we can work.
I thought about people who’ve lost their jobs or have to go to work with no protection,
about poorer people, families with homes stuffed
with kids and grandparents and little money, and how they would get by…
or the people on the streets who have to “stay-at-home.”

This is all very very bad, and I feel impotent.

At one point I felt like I was channeling women who had made much of little,
how they had worried for their families.

Perspective.  Gratitude. 

Rosh Chodesh is here; the beginning of the light of the moon.

I wonder how many of these little folding journals
I will do before this thing is over?

Above, the journal and other images that relate to
grappling with the corona madness.

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SoCS: Cuppa Tea

I  journal mornings with stream of consciousness exercises,
and participate in Linda Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday  whenever I have time.  I write to a timer, 15-20 minutes, no editing except spelling, and of course I add my art!  You can join us!

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “beside you.”
Write about whatever is beside you when you read this prompt.
Not when you sit down to write, but whatever is beside you right now.
Take note of it if you think you might forget. Enjoy!


I’ve had a headache for a few days because I am giving up coffee.
Beside me is a cup of tumeric tea with ginger and a little manuka honey.

Giving up coffee for Mitchell… we’ve decided not to go to the market
for many weeks and he LOVES coffee and I can enjoy tea.
I miss the ritual of him making a rich brew with lots of fresh sliced ginger,
brown sugar and goats milk for me;
still, I want him to have coffee for as long as possible.
I am having headaches, so I’m detoxing from the tea
and not happy about that but they are lessening today.

Seeing my Fiesta mug beside me, I am wondering how the CEO
of the company that owns Fiestaware will respond when she gets my letter
about how her lawyers have me locked out of selling my images,
and how I have complied with their complaints, but they don’t give a rats ass,
and have not bothered to release their block on my items despite numerous emails.

Next I will be breaking cups and videotaping… High art.

For the rules, go to Linda’s blog;  feel free to join the fun!

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Studio Urban Sketching


Urban Sketchers has never allowed people who were stuck at home for either surgery
or recouping or just unable to get out due to their medical issues to sketch their environment.  After being laid up literally on my back for three months, I really
questioned the wisdom of that discrimination.  You can still sketch your world —
but they apparently thought that a convalescents world was not interesting enough.

Now they are all stuck at home
so they changed the rules! 

Perhaps the stay-at-home orders will allow Urban Sketchers
to develop compassion and a shift in consciousness for shut-ins.
Perhaps those stuck at home for the various long-term reasons can continue to use
the hashtag #uskathome and participate.  I find it humorous that the sketches are
just as interesting — it is all about the sketcher, the detail, etc.

Anywho, I haven’t done any urban sketching at home but I did at the studio, above and below.  Above, the view from my computer desk, which I’ve sketched
dozens of times in many types of weather…

Below, studio cats have to have places to be that they really enjoy.
A client abandoned a chair to us and until we upholster it they enjoy the hell out of it.
Behind are our conservation books, which the cats also enjoy reading.
We hope one day they will make us proud by being able to work on objects!

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Covid-19 Oatmeal Florentines


(Above sketch in DeAtrementis Document Brown ink
with Super5 Frankfurt diluted used for shadows…. watercolor later)

We didn’t have what was needed and we are nto going to the market for a long time….
LONG TIME!  So we made do.
They tasted good, turned out a bit like a lumpy oaty nutty chewy Florentine.

They’d be good over ice cream.  If we had some.


Silver Palate’s Messed With Oatmeal Cookies

Again, as I thought to make these substitutions, I heard my mom loud and clear saying,
“Don’t mess with the baking recipes until you’ve tried it!”
Of course mom isn’t around to deal with Covid-19.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees; grease the pan with butter.

2/3 c softened butter
1.5 c brown sugar (one reason we ended up with flat cookies)
1 egg
2 T water
1 t vanilla extract
Cream and set aside.

2/3 c wheat flour
1 t cinnamon
1/2 t salt
1/2 t baking soda
In second mixing bowl, combine and then add to the wet mixture

3 C   oats (that is 3 cups oats not 3 coats silly,
and the second reason we ended up with flat cookies)
1 c walnuts

1 c dried sweetened cranberries
Obviously add them slowly and mix….  Bake 15-17 minutes.
Do not  let them sit or they turn into bricks!!!!

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Sending Postcards


Everyone enjoys a handwritten note!
And a doodly posie or a work of art makes it more special…

What are you waiting for?
Get your writing on —
spruce up someone’s life!

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Covid-19 Journal, 1


Made a little folding journal…
Not a celebration…
Not high art…
Just me trying to get through my days…
I’ll publish from time to time…
Starting on the New Moon.

 

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Covid-19 Desk Delivery


The infamous desk.  Okay, maybe not infamous.
Yes, I sketched it and write about it, venting like crazy.
I can’t share it because I don’t want some crazy ass lawyer
deciding he wants a piece of me.

Let’s leave om a high note…

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Dark of the Moon


Dark of the Moon, finished this journal.
I love it when that happens…

Silence for a few days, and as we’ve gathered our thoughts for how to work with this crazy Covid-19 virus, I can begin work tomorrow a bit more centered…  I didn’t have the energy to write my Lojong posting but am working the slogans and that is a comfort.  I love when I finish a journal in time for the New Moon, because then I am journaling in sync with the moon, and that is lovely.  I admit I filled pages with rants and thoughts
and can’t share them with you because clients and relatives are still alive or I would.  Be safe, take care of you and yours, be kind, and heed warnings.

Anyone else finding great quotes?


Follow your intuition for yourself.
Take time for silence, which most of us
don’t do often enough for our souls.

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SoCS: Welcome

I  journal mornings with stream of consciousness exercises,
and participate in Linda Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday  whenever I have time.  I write to a timer, 15-20 minutes, no editing except spelling, and of course I add my art!  You can join us!

The Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “welcome.”


What an odd word when
in fact, most people are
NOT welcome right now,
with many of us in isolation.

I think I am a bit stunned
right now.  After fighting
with a client and her
lawyer, both of whom were
in denial about the virus
as if it is a hoax, and we
are pretty worn out.  We’ve
taken a couple days off
to regroup… I am sketching
and writing madly in my journal when I get scared.

And I am finally scared.

A friend’s relative, a healthy middle-aged teacher died
of the virus.   Somehow knowing someone who
has died of it makes it hit home.  Before I was
cautious… but now there
is a bit of a panick that
comes to me sometimes.

I worry about older folks
who are isolated.  Mine are
all dead now, but I think about the ones I don’t know.

What is there to welcome?

Okay, Spring, though I
wonder how much most
of us will see it unless we
live in the country because cities are not where you
want to be out and about.
We both welcome laughter,
and are watching Trevor
Noah do his Daily Social Distancing show… and I
watch a Simon’s Cat
whenever I get blue — see
below if you don’t know
about Simon’s Cat.

I think artists and creatives fare better in isolation that most —
a lot of us are fine with our thoughts and so can take advantage of it.
I’ve spent days and weeks in isolation working on paintings back in the day and
didn’t miss people.  But for those who are uncomfortable with it, this is hard.

Mitchell and I will be working, alone together, and no one is at risk for it.
You caught me in a not very upbeat mood in this Stream of Consciousness writing,
and it is what it is…  Please take the warnings seriously.  Read the WHO
daily for updates — they are much better than the Trump-run CDC.

From a photo by Dan Antion, fellow lover of squirrels.

For the rules, go to Linda’s blog;  feel free to join the fun!

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Flowering Quince


From an image, because the Quince is not here YET.
I am ready for any beauty at this point,
though I loved the snow a few days ago.

Don’t despair, look for the gems in every day.

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VSW: Pittock Mansion, Detail Stonework


Ink and watercolor.  Detail.

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