Continuing Covid-19 journal…

Finishing this journal… moving on.
When I decided to do
these folding journals for
Covid-19 reflections,
I wanted the virus writing and sketching
to be separate from our lives.
HA!
I thought this was going
to be a few weeks, maybe a month.
Now we know it is likely
(barring a miracle cure)
to go on for a year or two…
So I am starting my next
“normal” journal… and Covid
will just be a big or small
part of that journal depending
upon how this pandemic plays out.

It was a horrible moment when we realized that it was unwise to have
our dear friend be the guardian of our furbabies (in the event both of us
were sick or died) due to medical complications in her life.
We had been thinking only in terms of her stress and life,
then suddenly realized it impacted a potential problem in ours.
The good news is I reached out to the woman who, along with her
wonderful family, fostered both Gibbs and Izzee, and asked if she would be
their caretaker as our other options had big dogs, or they would become ranch cats —
which two of them would not survive.
So I had to rewrite our wills and our directives… telling her and whomever
they might end up with about them, asking that at least two pairs be kept together.
I wept throughout, going for huggs from Mitchell (he worked) and frankly,
writing this made our resolve not to go out
at all except to the mailbox once every couple weeks stronger.

Stress causes more than sleepless nights.
It also causes arthritis to flare up.
I don’t care what any  damn doctor says — most know NOTHING about pain.
So from personal experience, stress causes me pain.

I don’t listen to the news if it is the Moronavirus-in-Chief talking.
He will reverse himself daily,
and it is stressful to hear him advise
the nation of exactly the wrong information.
He didn’t start this virus, but his
incompetency is going to cost more
lives lost and more economic
hardship, starting with the refusal
of the testing kits from the
World Health Organization weeks ago.

Instead, I listen to Governor Cuomo on
CSPAN daily, and other experts who
know what they are talking about.
Our own Governor is quite weak willed
and has not done enough. My opinion.

Trump also dismantled the Pandemic Response Team…. This is not political,
this is of huge importance to all of us.  I am furious.
I see him as a cult leader, and unfortunately his decisions effect others
who are not drinking his Koolaid.

Both Mitchell and I are working
slower than usual (thankful for
having work in studio!)  I find I’m
easily distracted and forgetful.
I sometimes walk into a room several
times and forget what I needed only
to walk back into the treatment room
and remember, then do it all over again.
I can’t hold onto numbers at all,
even our damn address, and forget
names as if I have dementia.  I am
emotional and worried.  I cry easily
and get pissed off easier than usual,
not at Mitchell but at the world.
I’m an insomniac, and find I go
between sleepless nights, then one day
I slept hard for about 18 hours.

Anyone else out there feeling this?
I know a few friends are and it is comforting to know if
I am losing my mind I am in good company.

A tip for those of you who do not want to go to the store:
I will recommend Amazon (not the Whole Foods delivery service as they are overwhelmed) and see what you can find — they have some items you can buy in bulk
and they are not gouging. Also Vitacost.com (Krueger) will replenish their selection.
Their shipping is free after I think $45 and they have many good food items.
They sell out (right now) but are restocking. When a package arrives we let it set off to one side (a garage is ideal) for three days, in which time anything that is one it is dead.

We may be overreacting, but for us, the risk of the market (death) is not one we are willing to take.  The virus is bad, but people being stupid is where the real risk is happening.

This journal is finished, and I am thankful.  I’d rather simply work now in my normal journal… And this whole life-changing virus thang will be part of our lives now.  Horrible but true…

Above, all kinds of images that relate to me
grappling with the corona madness.

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