The President Sang Amazing Grace

So much sadness in our country now.
I appreciate Joan and Jeff getting together in this.
The Atlantic covered the album release.

“The President Sang Amazing Grace” is performed by Joan Baez, written by Zoe Mulford, and animated in this video by Jeff Scher. It is part of The Atlantic Selects, an online showcase of short documentaries from independent creators, curated by The Atlantic.

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Connection

I’m journalling daily in my Nostalgie with images almost every page…
Too personal to publish, as family is still alive.

This images was swirling around in my head for days in deep blue.
It has something to do with what I am walking through these days.

This page started off six pages of writing…
When I was done I needed the flower below, any flower, colorful,
happy, expansive to finish that bit off for now.

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VSW: Basilique Saint Michel Archangel, Menton

Drawing the Basilique Saint Michel Archangel in Menton, France on our virtual sketchwalk!  This difficult image from Wikimedia caught my eye from the beginning.

I started with a pencil sketch.  Again, dispelling the myth that you
should not use pencils.  Frankly I hate all you-should-nots!

*funny, as I write this I wonder what I’d draw in gesture format…*

And, because I wondered what a gesture might be like, I did one!
*gesture is where you let your hand follow where your eye  is looking,
though I spotted this more than I might have… but wanted to see
what it might look
like without the pencil figuring!*
Covered up the images and went for it!
The only thing, is that I’d already studied the photo in pencil
and so, I that memory in head and hand.
*yup, hands have memory… why drawing something
100 times makes 
you know it!  NOT all in your head!*

Okay, forget the gesture…  I inked over the pencil, adding details.

Water-colored over ink.

I finally invested in a couple of purple colors
*i am not drawn to them naturally and so for the longest time had only
the lovely Imperial Purple, still my favorite*

Daniel Smith’s Purpurite (a Primatek) was exactly the right color for
the base paint for lower half of the stairs.  In fact, the base of the buildings
were all done in Primateks.  Perfect for this part of the world.

I am so happy with the color work!

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USk: Cherry Blossoms


Every year I am too busy OR the rains hit so fast that the blossoms drop.
This year I caught them!


I was out doing some disgusting errands with Mitchell
*IRS, SSI, government, ugh*
when we came upon the riverfront and saw the gorgeous cherry blossoms!
*never mind the grey im-gonna-rain skies*
Many peeps were out to see them on a Wednesday!
A lovely end to our outing, making it worthwhile!
*did i mention the governments offices could not help us?
of course.  only its their job.*

We stopped so I could do a quick sketch of the scene, to paint later.

Middle-of-the-night I painted the scene.
Oddly, I used the ONE small palette I didn’t have by the bed,
*right?  always I want what I don’t have!*
the palette meant for painting the Painted Ladies in the neighborhood.

I love line sketches… and this one I love more than the painted version…
Do you have a preference?

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Commercial Break

I had to share… Dan Antion wrote about commercials and damn I watched these
and cried… uplifting.  After the last couple weeks I needed a good laugh and cry for schmaltzy sentimental reasons… Puppies and love and a horse that remembers…

Why are so many commercials negative?

Nope… not about art at all….

My favorite starts at .52 seconds….

PS.  I don’t drink beer.  Or Budweiser.  Just so you know.

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Tools: Derwent Palette (Pencil Case)

Yes, another Palette!  I swear my last one (fingers crossed!)

Jenn understands that I paint in bed in the middle of the night
AND like lots of colors.  On her recommendation (Just Add Water Silly)
I bought the Derwent Empty Pencil Tin with TWO layers.

I used to have these four travel palettes by my bed.
It was quite a juggling act at night if I wanted to use colors in 2-3 palettes.

*YES, I know I could’ve limited myself to 22 pigments but I don-wanna!!*


Now I have one palette with two tiers,
and wow what this tin can hold!

I have nine of my favorite Primateks,
my basic travel palette colors,
and have space to swap out colors
I want to try and compare — like the row of similar oranges (they look the same
but they are varying in opacity and brands,
and I am seeing which suits my images more…)

I have room to have a couple of
special shortcut mixes on hand too!

BTW, I removed the lid, and I think I can always reattach it if I wanted to… it was a simple pin mechanism.  While I don’t try big washes in
bed as I love my sheets, I appreciate a few small
mixing tins magnetized to the inside lid do
the trick when I want to mix colors, and
I can use the entire tin lid if pushed for a big wash.

What about my old ones? Into the travel bag
they go, ready for action outdoors! They stack
neatly on one side, or I only take what I want that day.
My new Derwent will not be going on outings!

Current colors, above, which I am sure will change some as I play with this new tin>
BTW, not sure I love the magnetized pans for paints… the magnets are not that strong and not as secure.  It is nice to easily swap out a paint but if these are dropped they go flying!
*do you really want to know how I know that?*

The images below were part of my maiden voyage with my new palette!

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Lojong 32: Boddhisattva Vow

I’ve studied through the slogans a dozen times in my life;
these are my musings on the slogan currently, not a formal interpretation.
For that reason they are less about straight Buddhist teachings,
and I think able to be shared with most practitioners of other faiths or no faith
(unless yours doesn’t allow you to read any other tradition.) 

If you have time and the inclination, I published the WHOLE  thang here!


This week when I opened to the next slogan, I was transported back in time.


I was in my twenties, at the Boddhi Tree on Melrose (RIP Boddhi Tree).
I was thumbing through Buddhist and Taoist books as I often did late at night,
And I came upon the Refuge Vow.


Reading it stirred my heart.
I had a feeling I was coming home.
The vow felt so right, as we are all in this craziness together.
No person left behind, eradicating suffering…
I sat and took the vow by myself, to myself.
It took that first time.
Keeping the refuge vow has been confusing at times,
because sometimes it mean doing nothing, so to do no harm.
That has been the hardest.
And frankly, I don’t know why they call it the “Refuge Vow” —
I call it the Boddhisattva Vow.

And it was what made me want to start Tonglen.  The practice of sending and taking wiht the breath has been my main and best practice, even better than sitting zazen.

A decade later I would take refuge formally with Chagdud Rinpoche,
but I know when I really took the Boddhisattva Vow — alone that night at the Boddhi Tree.

Next week I will talk about the other two of the “three basic principles,”
Being that this slogan is such a pithy one for me!

Okina Journal, with pen and ink, and water…
Diamine Ancient Copper ink.

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Chocolate Cake for Monday


I needed a new birthday wish cake to
send out via email on friend’s birthdays!


I made up this chocolate raspberry cake
middle of the night when I was wanting just this! 

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Sketchbook Project: Hope and Fear, 2017

 Last year was the first year I participated in the Sketchbook Project, the project out of Brooklyn whereby people from all over the world buy a small sketchbook, fill it,
choose to have it imaged or not, and it sits in the museum and/or travels the country!
Last year the options were Hope OR Fear, and given what is going on in the USA
I changed the rules, as I am often want to do, and went with Hope AND Fear.
I wrote everything honestly in journal style, then redacted all that
might be used against me in a totalitarian government.

Imagine my surprise when I found out they chose to feature me in
the small printed book about the project!  Yay! (Sold out!)

This year I participated in the Sketchbook Project again, but also, am participating in the Canvas Project.  My word is BEDLAM!  Anyone else participating?

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Tools: TWSBI ECO for St. Patty’s Day


For Valentine’s Day Mitchell gifted me with the Lamy Al-Star in the new pink
*flowers and pens and ink and watercolors, the man knows the way to my heart*
but the color was really meh… not bright fuchsia or magenta but a softer mauvie-pink.

I returned it… neva-gonna-use-it so thought it best.


Just in time for St. Patty’s Day came a lovely yellow-green TWSBI ECO with a 1.1stub nib to replace it!  WOWWEE!  Great color!  I inked it with Rohrer & Klingner Alt-Goldgrun
ink and took her out for a spin last night and she is amazing.  I get why people
love this pen so much.  Smooth from the start, and holds a TON of ink!
Compared to the Lamy Al-Stars a smoother writing pen.

I wish the nibs were changeable… I guess I’ll need two!

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VSW: Menton France


Quick doodling sketches while waiting for yet
another crazy phone call from hospital staff…
NOTHING like art to  calm and soothe!

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VSW: Getaway to Menton France

I am walking through stressful family times and painting late at night
when I can’t sleep is a soul-saver.  An image with a CC agreement from
Daniel70mi Falciola took me away, with the bright blue sky and sea.

I have to say I am having fun catching images of the paintings…
Sometimes I like them more than the sketches themselves!

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Difficult Mom


My mom may be unable to stay in her apartment.

This is hard for us, harder for her.
Fortunately, not one of her friends, doctors, nurses, etc., disagrees with us,
which helps to make the decision clear-cut.

Still, is is a huge decision and effort, and we are still gathering the facts,
as she’d be happier in her own little apartment.

I wrote a lot about my mom this week in my journal, as I didn’t do anything
but engage her and medical people and Medicaid… my work went on hold.
Our system is corrupt and we are a cruel country, another story for another time.

The thing is, that I love my mom — the good parts of her —
and would be willing to love the bad parts if they weren’t so bad they aim to destroy.
We are all a mixed bag.
But when the toxic is treacherous you either get eaten or you draw boundaries.
I’ve had boundaries, and now, that boundary is to not speak with her again, maybe ever.  Something is snapping in her… and I am the one she wants to take down with her,
she blames me and though I’ve not had any power nor any part in her troubles, nor has my brother, frankly.  She’s always been worse with women.
My brother is taking over.

She did a lot for me, including keeping me safe, which many parents don’t,
as they are sometimes the ones who a child must be rescued from.
She taught me confidence, how to persevere, gave me a good dose of self-esteem
to help me try for the difficult things I wanted in life, and how to keep myself safe
when I was older.  AND, in this very mixed bag, long ago I  realized that she was a treacherous human being to all us kids once we began to grow up.
Undermining, verbally abusive, and yes, even criminal… especially to her kids.

So I will love the good memories of her,
and assist my brother in the background.

Why share this?  Because there are so many people who have abusive family
members and it is never talked about.  Silence breeds shame and people suffer more.


The wheelchair wheel was a backdrop for a lot of this writing; I’ve shared
just a bit publicly.  Hard to share the really personal things.

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Jai’s Death


I’ve had a pencil sketch of Jai in my moleskin for two years.
I sketched it from one of the last pictures we took of him.
I penciled it just after he died, and I’ve been unable to finish it.
Of course, that also effectively put my moleskin journal on hold
because every time I opened it I saw the unfinished sketch of one of my
most beloved buddies, and that nagged at me.

At the time, yes, I hadn’t drawn many cats… but my reluctance was more than that.
I wrapped my mind around doing a great piece that would honor my Jai Cat.
What a mistake to lay that pressure on myself!


Perhaps because of my commitment to finishing off my odd journals,
or because my mother is careening toward her own end
or maybe it had to do with the video I was sent for a group I lead,
*not that I am promoting this art group — I know nothing about them*
but I was determined to push through this damn page.

I let go of honoring him, of making it this big deal, and just painted.
*then a big drop of dark grey ink dripped on his face… oh well*
Its not my best work, but it is done, and I did capture one of his expressions.
And I will do others of him…  I have a jillion good pictures!

Moral of this story: Just Do It!

I wish we’d known him as a kitten;
he found us as an adult.


On the opposite page to Jai were sketches about the cats missing him.
Also stalled.
We have a lovely lotus candle holder and when we got his ashes back placed
them near the lotus on my desk… unlit, of course.

I started my sketch by painting the lotus, and letting the Primatek colors run…


Kamala and he did not get along.
Yet she searched daily for her nemesis.

Sammy had the oddest reaction, especially as he never gets up on my desk.
He rubbed all over Jai’s wooden urn, purring and purring.
Jai was one of his best buddies.


None of this is my best work, but I’m satisfied now,
happy that I began again in this journal and in painting him.

“Jai Cat Jai Cat My Cat My Cat…”

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“Memory is more indelible than ink.”
Anita Loos, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.

Posted in animals, art journal, journal, loss, memory, painting, ritual, virtual sketching, watercolor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Hahnemühle Calendar Contest!

Hahnemühle launched their calendar contest —
All about RED, my favorite color!
Their calendars are the most beautiful!
Click to see the rules and the upload portal!

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Painting Savitri


I often see this face when I am just waking up…
She finds ways to get up over my head and stare down…
A cheery cheery face.


Painting Savitri is pushing me to learn and experiment, especially when it comes to color.  I’ve tried so many mixes and they are all wrong.

Finally I spent time just mixing until I came up with a good base color,
and figured some of the deep colors that I can add.
QoR has a lovely transparent grey called Ardoise Grey, and that was a base, and I added Daniel Smith’s Primatek Monte Amiata, though probably many ochres would do.
I mixed it in with the grey in roughly a 1:2 ratio.  A little of the Primatek goes a long way.
I also use the grey by itself in areas, and add Sepia and occasionally Yavapei.


Sketch…


Grey went over the blue of her eyes also.

What I must stop is trying to work a nice watercolor in the Nostalgie journal,
especially when I have amazing Hahnemuhle Watercolour journals too!
Her nose area needed to be worked and if the paper had been watercolor
it would have been fine… But finally the paper said, ENUF!
I’m basically happy with it — a good trial test of the colors!

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Posted in animals, art journal, journal, memory, painting, pen & ink, sketchbook, watercolor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Lojong: 31 Benefits of Practice

I’ve studied through the slogans a dozen times in my life;
these are my musings on the slogan currently, not a formal interpretation.
For that reason they are less about straight Buddhist teachings,
and I think able to be shared with most practitioners of other faiths or no faith
(unless yours doesn’t allow you to read any other tradition.) 

If you have time and the inclination, I published the WHOLE  thang here!


“22: If you can practice even when
distracted you are well-trained.”


When I first read this 35 years ago I thought it was about being able to sit zazen,
to breathe without distraction or mind wandering, to just follow my breath,
despite discomfort, noises, pressuring thoughts, crazy thoughts…

I’ve never mastered that completely, though I occasionally have a good sit.
In trying to have a good sit, I learned to listen to my own mind when I would not shut up.
I learned who I am and how to check in to who I am in any given moment,
because we change… shift… grow… go momentarily insane!

Now I hear it differently, and have taken to heart what is really important.
Sitting is not so important (gasp!) though I did a lot of it to get to this place.
What is important, is who you are as a person when the shit is flying.

Our world appears to be spinning out of control in so many ways.
People are stressed and angry and fearful and self-centered.
Some are greedy and malicious.
There are REAL threats in this reality.
A teacher used to say we lived in interesting times…
That seems an understatement 30 years later.

I don’t know that I could have gotten to THIS place without zazen,
AA, or any of the other things I’ve done,
but I know that this is what’s true and important for me.
Can I be a decent heart-centered person when I am confronted with the world’s evils?
Can I be calm and rational and possibly kind when I am threatened?
When I am having to draw boundaries with a crazy person, can I stay centered?
When I am scared?  When I am being abandoned?
Can I protect myself from real dangers without being vindictive?
How do I move from the horrid situations to a joyful place?

Tonglen practice helped me get to this in a way zazen did not.
Thinking about all the others in the world who might be experiencing
what I am walking through or worse, while in the midst of my own real crisis
or monkeymind fears moved me to a better place.
I breathe in my own pain,
and on the outbreath send me and everyone what I need.
I breathe in another sentient beings pain,
and send them and everyone the antidote to their distress.
In so doing I am living my boddhisattva vows and expanding my consciousness.

Sometimes that is all there is to do…

Okina Journal, with pen and ink, and watercolor.

Posted in art, Buddha, journal, lojong, meditation, pen & ink, ritual, tonglen, watercolor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Hahnemühle Post Cards, Posies

It is such fun to try handmade paints from JazperStardust and PfeifferArt.
I played with them in posies on Hahnemühle post cards


I use masking for ease, and to get the white dots at the end…
Jazper’s Lapis up against DS Quinophthalone Yellow as a base.

JazperStardust‘s Lapis, Goldfish, Sunray, and Coral star with other colors mixed in…
I had problems so removed a bit of color — Jazper’s paints can go on thick and rich — and maybe a bit too rich so I need to get used to more pigment than a Daniel Smith paint.
I simply went in with a damp paper towel, and was fine with the slight impressions it left — I like texture!  Still not quite happy, I took a cotton swab and dabbed on DS Sap Green.
Once the masking was removed, I was happy!


PfeifferArt‘s Lavender-Blue played nicely with Jazper’s Lapis and Goldfish.
Working with handmade paints takes getting used to the differences…
More pigments usually, meaning you have to do less of a dip
into the wet paint to get a wash going.

The heavy texture of the Hahnemühle Post Cards adds to the variation!.

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Posted in art, cards, color, ink painting, meditation, pen & ink, watercolor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments