Christmas 2018

Christmas moved me back into watercolors.
Hard not to be moved to color when it is such a colorful season!

It was also a move back to Catholic rituals,
as my Mom dying prompted me to saying some prayers to Guadalupe.

Lights always cheer — and thankfully,
Santa added to our collection of twinkly cheery lights!
And a cheery pen or two or three…

Mostly, we spent a good portion of the first few days off recovering…
sleeping sleeping sleeping staying in pj’s except when we went into the studio.
And such great foods this year —
I used to spend two days baking but have not done this in years,.
This year I HAD to have cookies; Baker & Spice and the Cakery did not let us down.
Flavored shortbreads, coconut patties, sugar&spice pecans, teacakes.
And chocolate.  Lots of chocolate…

See you next year!

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Mom’s Death: A Month of Journaling, II


Continuing from the previous post…

After that I began to notice the times I thought of her —
I actually thought of her a lot more than I knew —
and each time I had to remind myself she wasn’t there anymore.

I had one rosary of hers for a long time;
she didn’t want this one in the hospital, but took one that glowed in the dark.
This rosary crystal is hand cut and it came from the Vatican —
she had a dear friend who was a priest in the Vatican
and had it blessed by the Pope for her.
It is a lovely rosary, and I’ve had it hanging on my computer.
I moved it onto my altar, next to my mala,
which coincidental, has the same number of beads.

That is when I drew it.

I’d had so many things swirling in my head and
this drawing began to offer a way to give my memories form.
Food was a huge part of what we shared and I wrote my favorite foods of hers.

I’ve done several of these kind of pages, a line drawing and then memories;
it is a nice way to create a memory page.

I now have so many things of hers in my studio and home.
Things she would not have let anyone have except that her time on Earth was over.

This one is one of the things I made as  kid, and now I have it.
How it survived 58 years?  She packed carefully when she moved!
This ceramic praying Debbie lived on her dresser.

Some of the pieces I don’t know the history of, but most I do…
This is a sweet double heart box, and I love it.
Right now it has things I made her in it, things I’ve drawn before.

A friend sent me a message:
Wishing you heart’s ease Kate.
Another round of tears.
I remembered that there was a flower called Heart’s Ease
but could not remember which one.
As the women in my family are connected up by flowers;
I looked it up to find it is one of four flowers that remind me of mom,
and a favorite of mine, Johnny Jump-ups!
This prompted a spread with Johnny Jump-ups and Forget-Me-Nots.

I will continue now to write about her.

After I published my previous post, a friend asked me why and how
I published things so close to my heart, and so sad in an art blog!

I don’t think we talk enough about the truth of what we are all going through,
and this leads to feelings of isolation.
I’m not a kid writing in my diary… so the only thing that stops me from sharing what I write is if someone else is alive and it would bother them.

My mother had some HUGE faults, neuroses if you will,
AND, I still loved her.  You can love a flawed human being…
And she was a great mother to me growing up.

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Mom’s Death: A Month of Journaling, I


I still don’t have a lot to say about my Mom’s death almost a month later.
It is hard to talk about.
The couple of days before she died I did this journal entry above.

She’d been in and out of hospital for a bit, stepping into dementia late, at 96.
I personally think it was from being on so many painkillers —
they could not operate on her cracked hip at her age.
I think it all whacked her out… constant pain killers for a couple years.


The night of her death I told Mitchell I could feel death in the air.
I don’t usually talk or think like that — but there it was.
I drew a sketch of the two horses (from pics), wrote about it on the end (which I do),
and assumed it was because of worry about a friend.

But I really could not settle in to sleep.
I sketched the image of the Vista House, and began to think about Mom.
I thought about her being afraid to die, and we’d had conversations about that fear.
I began talking to her in my head while I sketched,
about her pain, about the new place she was in (hospice, and a great staff),
having conversations about her letting go if she was so uncomfortable and unhappy.

I reminded her of the conversation she had with her priest when she informed him,
years ago, of her plans to be cremated — a no-no in the Catholic Church.
He told her that she could not buried in consecrated ground,
wh ch of course is supposed to mean (my shorthand her) that God can’t find her.
She informed him that her faith in the power of God was much greater than his,
And she was sure that the God who made the Earth would find her if her ashes were scattered in the Pacific Ocean, and furthermore, that this Earth she loved so much,
and that pacific Ocean she loved so much, were blessed, consecrated grounds.

I reminded her there was nothing to be frightened of,
she had a strong faith in where she was heading and that she’d see Grandma and Patrick and Michael and Folly and Sweetie (and yes I named them all)
and had been around many people who died, peacefully.

I finished the sketch at 1:45am, suddenly so sleepy I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

She died in her sleep at 1:30am.

I thought I’d be ready for her death.
In fact, I barely cried when I first found out.
The relief of knowing she was going to avoid even more pain…

What I didn’t expect was the days that followed and are still following,
because it is a bit like a carpet being rolled in front of me.
As it rolls, I have another experience…

The first time it really hit me I walked into the market with Mitchell
and saw the stands for goodies for stockings.
I always made boxes for her — not just at the holidays —
and seeing the things I would have bought for her —
thought to buy for her as if she were alive — broke my heart open.
I wept in the market — all through the market.

Thinking of others who lost a parent recently…
Or are struggling in hospitals and hospice this year.
Carol and Willow and Donna and Pascale and Oceanens and Lois and Sherry.

To part II…

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HO HO HO!


I will eventually write about my mom, but for now,
am remembering her through the card I made for her years ago,
of her almost full-sized Santa.
We called him Laguna Santa as he came from Laguna Beach.
He took over one of her wicker chairs each Christmas
and stayed longer than he shoulda cuz she loved him so much.
She tucked gifts around him and he was a buddy who greeted her many friends.

May the season serve up good art,
good memories, good food, and good company!

Christmas Eve, just after that huge full moon!
When we went to buy the tree only itty-bitty trees were left;
The cats have it now, with teeny flamingos led lights on it and cat toys.
I caught Hari-Fred-Gibbs (gads will we ever settle on a name for the Uslurper?)
stretching up to try to get the prized red cardinal cat toy on top!
Juxtaposed in front of the full moon through the window it looks like a full-sized tree!

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OFF for a Couple Weeks! YaY!

I don’t remember being this happy to have time OFF.  We need it!

We have now had a day to sleep deeply and as late as necessary;
sleep is an amazing tonic!  Lifts the spirit, and also having lights everywhere.

Both Mitchell and I still notice the difference in the light living north —
both raised in So Cal, that is the light “norm” and this craziness in Oregon of the sun setting early and arising late in Winter has been the parts that made me gloomy.
We fight it with twinkle lights!  We decorate both home and studio with
crazy fun lights that lift out spirits when the sun sets at 4pm!
They are up most of the year, being replaced with summer lights in fewer amounts for fun.


This year we have some new lights — the moon and stars was a real score!
Santa is bring a couple more…
We have to wait until Christmas morning to find out what!

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Hem 23


After acupuncture, we walked to Hem 23 for a great Vietnamese meal.
We ordered way to much food for the table —
I had no idea!

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VSW: Taos

I always thought I’d be finishing this with watercolors,
but this year has been a doozy and so I am finally choosing to publish
the inked drawings of a lovely walk with Virtual Sketchwalk.


We walked all over Taos and I choose two areas.
The first are from the Milicent Rogers museum.

I took liberties and juxtaposed statues with a view of the courtyard.
I ended up loving the various ways my photography of the statue looking
over her shoulder presented different feelings.


The Native American statue in the hoop is actually far outside the complex,
not dancing on top of the building!


The other area I choose was the Taos Pueblo.

I went for a sweeping view of it from afar
and a detail of it, sketched from a photo by Fran Graciotripp.


You can see how I draw with the idea of topping with watercolors.
I tend toward simple lines with watercolors
being the addition that gives depth and texture.

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VSW: Vista House


As I move back into posting,
I will start with the pages I was drawing of the Vista House,
below, when my mom died.
(Not ready to write about that yet.)
I don’t think we ever went there, though maybe when I was a kid on a trip north.


The image, top, was drawn with KWZ Foggy Green.
KWZ is a lovely ink that moves in unusual ways when touched by water.
There is not a lot of control, you have to just move and play with the ink as you go.


The other lovely changling ink I am playing with is Robert Oster Purple Jazz.
It looks grey when you line it (unless the line is a broad tip)
but when you move ti with water it goes blue and pink and grey!

I love these moody inks!

These images were shared images from google,
which many peeps sketched as part of our Virtual Sketchwalk group.

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Workspace Voyeur: Desktop Diaries

I am a workspace voyeur…
I was sent this YouTube video on Oliver Sacks Desk,
and what is even better, it is a series.
Desk Porn.

Back to watching…

Many of us spend more waking hours at our desk than anywhere else. Writer and neurologist Oliver Sacks explains what his desk means to him in the first in a series of Desktop Diaries. From lumps of metal to lemurs, Sacks describes some of his treasures, his preferred method for writing his books and why he takes comfort in dense metals.

For writer Michael Pollan, the contents of his refrigerator is often on the forefront of his mind: “I do think about food a lot, and if I’m distracted it’s with thoughts of what’s in the fridge.” In the latest installment of our Desktop Diaries video series, we’ll take you into the home office (and garden) of the famous food and nature author to see how edible ornamentations can sometimes provide inspiration.

“Someone described my office as an eight-year-old’s daydream,” says Jill Tarter, astronomer and the inspiration for the character in Carl Sagan’s “Contact.” As the SETI (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence) Institute’s first employee, Tarter has accumulated E.T.-themed office ornaments for the last thirty years — including a bottle of wine only to be opened “only upon detection of Extraterrestrial signal.”

Many of us spend more time at our desks than anywhere else. Theoretical physicist and futurist Michio Kaku takes us on a tour of his office, where he writes his bestsellers and records his radio shows. The futuristic 1950s TV show Flash Gordon jump-started his interest in science. Watching it as a kid, Kaku realized that it was the problem-solving scientist, not the chiseled crimefighter Flash, who was really the hero. Originally published May 20, 2011.

 

 

 

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Death in the Family


My mom died December 1.
I have something to say, but not yet, and
have work to continue and so am keeping to that and writing
and such until after this new moon.

I was working on the piece above while she was dying…
and have much more to say about that too.

Soon… xo dk

 

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A Frightening Week


Dear Friends: This blog post has peeps writing with concern.
Know that the cats are okay,
and we took five full days and unplugged and slept.

Now back to the proper blog post!

Without knowing what was coming this week, I wrote the above.

It was a big week.  We had a solid week of moving the horses and other decorative elements from the Jantzen Beach Carousel into our studio…
a harried move, with many things to coordinate, and of course the potential for damages!

Then my 96-year-old mom broke her femur… no easy answers there.
Over the next four days while we were moving the carousel, I had her on my mind as well.

Then the fires in California and family and friends…
Stress and worries and checking in all week.


Monday morning we thought that Hari had gotten into a pill that had been crushed under my chair wheels…  One that could kill him or make him very sick at least.
This after we are so so SO careful!

It was a harrowing day and I had to fight to ask for advice  from our vet’s office;
ER overnight, what?
Gotta say that we are trying to resolve that issue now so we have confidence in the office.
The point of having a vet is they know you and the animal
and you are not walking into emergency unless it is necessary…

Hari-Orson-Smells is okay.  Thank the gods and goddesses!
*Orson Smells is one of his other names as he is voracious eater
and has the smelliest bowels ever…*


The next day was the first day of the carousel move.
When we came home we were supposed to take Hari for a last blood test.

However, Yaman was listless, would not eat, was not himself.
We went to take him in Hari’s place for the same blood test,
just in casethough it was unlikely he had also been near the crushed pill
and they didn’t have the appointment with the technician scheduled for Hari,
his last follow blood test for poison!
This after they had confirmed it via phone, we’d discussed it three times, etc., etc.

Worse, they would not honor it even when one of them remembered the conversations.

FIVE HOURS LATER and an ungodly amount of money
he was seen at Dove Lewis, a good ER place in NW.
His blood test came back negative, thankfully.
I am thankful for them, but it is not an easy place to go —
I mean, think human ER… not fun.
Triage is in place, some very sad cases around us,
and Yaman was not at the top of the list to be seen…

I am still not happy with the vet’s office — though I love our actual vet.

Mitchell stayed home with him the next day —
Between our families and the fires in So Cal and
my mom’s surgery and Yaman we flipped a coin…
Yaman is most comforted by Mitchell.
I did the second day’s move of the carousel… we traded off late afternoon
when it was time for a half-dozen horses to come back to the studio.


Yaman is back to his yackity yackity meowy self
really he talks all the time and has to follow us everywhere…
We think a toy that used beans come apart and he ate a dry bean.

That night he sat on my old journal and was his content self.

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USK: My Birthday Pen Changed…

I returned my red Karas Kustom pen —
I didn’t like the stub nib on their pen, and I love stubs so back it went.


This is the new pen that Mitchell bought me to replace it.
Edison Nouveau Tequila Sunrise.  She is so beautiful!
Even better, she writes like a dream!

Mitchell tried it and made OMs…

The last post was also using her
I took her out for a spin before the leaves dropped in October.
Yes that is how behind in my postings I am… argh!
Gurl’s gotta work sometimes.

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USK: The Old Police Stable


I love the old buildings of Portland.
I am sorry that the developers here do not have the ingenuity of the California developers, especially in the Bay Area or Cannery Row, where they saw how
some of the history would make for amazingly lovely buildings,
make them come alive, make the wharf development more interesting.

Maybe they don’t get out much.

This is one of these areas.  We drive by it all the time.
This dufus developer is taking down the old building
that housed the police horses, and before that, I believe it was a mill.
Some of it is gone already.
He could have done some high-rise around the old buildings, turning one
into a skate rink and the other shops… would have been great.

Glad I was able to sketch it before it was gone altogether.
Ink painting.  No watercolors.

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Voting Days, Going Back in Postings….

November 6 was a nail-biting day,
and the day when I began my new Hahnemühle Nostalgie Sketchbook.

Never have I seen our country so divided and uncaring about all of our inhabitants.

The story of Maha-Durgha is the best one for our times…
My quick storytelling:
The world was in a dire place and the gods were not winning over evil.
In a last-ditch effort, they decided to give all their powers
to Durgha, in hopes she would slay the evil forces.
She was able to harness all the power and get the job done!


I am so sad that our country is so divided that the two parties cannot even work together.  It is not good for anyone.  I grew up in a Republican/Democrat divided home, and
more often we agreed on the big issues, and disagreed on the small details.

Not so anymore, and it is hurting our country.

Most of all, I love our Constitution.


I pray for a full healing
in this country.

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A Long Look Back Starts with Gratitude

Of course, I’ve not been posting.
Exhaustion, family issues, cats sick, and The Big Move.
And a bit depressed about the state of our country…

We have now had a day or two to sleep deeply, and sleep has buoyed me a bit.
We will have (mostly) time off for a few days (a client meeting or two from
out-of-town clients) and so I am feeling restored.

T-day is tomorrow, and so I give thanks…
We’ll start with my last page in my new journal and
then I will post what I’ve done and haven’t posted!


First and foremost, I give thanks for my husband…
I swear if I didn’t have him to share the crapity-crap-crap times
with I don’t know what I’d do…  He feels the same.
This is a silly post-it note he wrote me pasted in my art journal,
and yes, I save them all… in a big blue moon-box unless they are pasted somewhere!

Cats.  Joyous, funny, keeping me laughing even when they are being “bad”
they are family, ours, and so this last couple weeks
was a huge scare with us for two of them… they are 100% okay.

I give thanks for those I know/met through this blog
and FB/IG friends from around the world.
Sharing what I love with others that love similar things and expose me to
new ideas and products and joy, how great is that.

I give thanks for work and the ability to do it!

Have a restful and good holiday whatever you are doing.
We are staying in pjs and eating non-turkey things we love and
making art and playing guitar and playing with the cats…
Be safe.

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Finished a Journal!

Finished my Hahnemühle Nostalgie Sketchbook just before the election.
I’ve been slow to post.  Sorry there were pages I had to leave out;
family members still alive.  Who knows if they dip into my blog?
I am doing so much more writing again.
I keep my sanity by writing the upset and the gratitude.

Decorated the front cover, no image of Hari because he wasn’t with us;
A reminder how things change!

By 2019 I hope to be teaching how I journal!

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Okay, Again, Carousel Horses are Coming!


So our last try at moving the carousel into our studio was thwarted:
Our main moving guy, one we trust, fractured his ankle.
We have deadlines, so are scheduled for the move again tomorrow!

Mitchell moved a few items two weeks ago.
The Jantzen Beach Carousel horses, rounding boards, shields, and sleighs
are soon to arrive… KENAHORA KNOCKING ON WOOD!!

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Bugs and Birds!


In the studio near the end of the day, especially in winter,
the window facing the river becomes an attraction for the cats.
Yaman and Savitri are teaching Hari-Gibbs-Tiger-Terror-TANK
(yes his name is getting longer by the day) the ropes.


It begins with the bugs.  Beetles, mostly,
and they come to the warmth of the window (outside) looking to come in….

Yaman the Bug Hunter is there to greet them!
“BEGONE BUG!!”


In the end they stay to watch the crows go home…
This scenario always delights us…

Remember Savitri’s bird-watching images from summer?

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