(This was written the middle of February, when I finally wrote
about how I was reeling from the horrific action of the new regime…
In the beginning I was frozen, then finally, slowly, I decided I had
to step it up, get my life back on track, do what could be done.)

Quotes that moved me , taught me, and guided me during
the beginning of this disaster of a regime:

“Grief burnout is real, and it can show up as
losing interest in things you once loved, constant headaches,
restless nights, anxiety, feeling scattered and mood swings.”
~ Good Morning Podcast

I had all of the above except radical mood swings —
my “mood” has been consistent… consistently depressed.
NO sketching or reading (except news) for weeks.
But after many MANY weeks in that place I am pushing to get beyond it,
to reclaim my life in the midst of this mess.

I never saw myself as patriotic, so never knew how much
I loved my country until it was threatened.
That is not a personality trait, rather,
I think, I grew up with the USA as my constant
and never considered it to be in danger.

I’ve begun to consciously meditate again, and
even found myself praying to whom I am not sure.
It isn’t that I don’t believe, but at some point I simply
did not find it useful to think that way.
The immigrants being sent back hurts my heart;
Please, I say aloud, keep them safe, keep the children with their parents.

I pray it many times a day as if it is a mantra.

“You write to change the world, knowing perfectly well you can’t.
The world changes according to the way people see it.
If you alter, even by a millimeter, the way a person looks at
or people look at reality, then you can change it.”
~ James Baldwin

BTW, several political persons have talked about keeping a journal of these times,
because then we are documenting the history of how it was effecting us.
Hopefully this will counter the whitewashing that the regime will promote..