IMO the flag should be flown upside down and at half-mast for the next four years because we are in distress as a nation.  I won’t be stopping these rants anytime soon and if I do, then you should all be really worried.  Someone has me gagged and tied.

I read something two nights ago that someone attributed to
“Good Morning Podcast” which I never heard of:
“Grief burnout is real, and it can show up as losing interest in things you once loved, constant headaches, restless nights, anxiety, feeling scattered and mood swings.”

I have had all those things for several months, after # not-my-president somehow ended up being deemed our President.  I say this because of the missing votes (is anyone even looking for them), and maybe because if he really won fair and square then I’d be truly shattered, because how is that possible?  I would have to consider that a slight majority of those that voted actually wanted him.

And BTW, I will NEVER FORGIVE those that did not vote, nor the students who decided not to vote.  I think you should not be allowed to vote ever again.  Forfeit.

Yes, I am mad, still.

“You write to change the world, knowing perfectly well you can’t… The world changes according to the way people see it.  If you alter, even by a millimeter, the way a person looks at reality, then you can change it.”  ~James Baldwin

And I’m heartbroken.  I did not know I loved my country this much.  I knew I loved the land, but I didn’t think about how much I love the actual laws that we have lived with for so many decades.  Perhaps it is because I took them for granted, and now I am seeing that we might lose them forever.

I have had the covers metaphorically pulled over my head for a few weeks, hoping this was all a bad dream.  I’ve been worried about lalaland, my home town, and if they would get funding from # not-my-president.  I have not made any art for weeks except a couple of burning images of the Palisades.  I have stayed away from the news other than about that one issue.

He will never be my President, and by that I mean I won’t call him that, and I will not look to him for any guidance about our country because he will do nothing to make American great.  He will never unify.  He will never give a rats ass about anyone but billionaires who are also his maggots.  He will not help a blue state in the middle of the first huge climate crisis (also happens to be my home town), nor does he believe in the science of that, nor any blue state, nor support women’s issues, nor anyone with disabilities, nor gays/lesbians, trans, immigrants, etc etc.  He will start wars if he likes, just to show us how big his member is not.

So now I have to find a way forward.  I need to do what I do, make marks about what is going on in our country, and how it is hurting us.  I will, as an art teacher said, “Do it when you are crying.  Do it when you are mad.  Do it when you are tired.”

I will publish more on finding a path forward when I feel I have found it, but one thing I can say now is my art journal is my clearing ground, where everything that is happening to me of importance finds a place (unless no time!).  It is even more important now, because when I get my thought on paper they tend to lessen their hold on my psyche,  The act of writing it all down let’s my soul feel heard.  So, the pages are filled with writing and art, often not shared because besides being an artist i also am a businesswoman.

PS:  I wrote to the NYTimes this morning and asked them if they were going to publish his lies without calling them out for the trash they are… I am referring to the BLATANT lies, and he has already started.  If they are unwilling then they are going to be dumped from my inbox, along with any publication that does not tell the truth about him.

PS. I still have to decide about Meta, and being on FaceBook and Instagram.  On one hand, I want nothing to do with the ass-kissing weenie, but on the other, as friends pointed out, it is the best place to counter every damn lie that is going down, if I have the stomach for it.

Anyone else feel this way?  How are you dealing with the upset?