I journal mornings with stream of consciousness exercises,
and participate in Linda Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday whenever I have time. I write to a timer, 15-20 minutes, no editing except spelling, and of course I add my art! You can join us!
The Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “wire.”
This has been a very bad week, and it did actually
come down to the wire — and then passed it. That is not good.
A portion of it revolved around a client who negates even the possibility of the
Covid virus and decided to come after us with a lawyer for a business decision we made.
Our business is small, and we do not interact much with “the public” so we decided
to stop pickups and deliveries (we rent a van so right there is a hot spot bigger than the damn market) for a few weeks. All other clients worked with us and many were fine with the decision. It is not forever, just for a few weeks — though it may go on longer than we imagined. We gave her two options — she chose neither — and then the lawyer was her next choice, before even trying to work it out. Every fricking day there has been nasty letters from her lawyer denying us our boundary and threatening us and in the end, they choose what we offered. Sort of. They want us to admit breach of contract when we were not in breach of contract — so not that I can stake my life on that one — but the problem is that money doesn’t buy brains but it does buy bullying power. For us to be sued means we have to get a lawyer and a lawyer who had a brain would say wtf then have to defend us… and even that lawyer to lawyer is stipulated in our contracts as being something neither party with do, but instead go to small claims and agree to mediation. The fact that I’ve spent days dealing with lies — lies from a lawyer, which I have to counter because otherwise it implies agreement, and lies in the media and lies in our country that will in fact be the cause of more deaths, and I learned the true meaning of the word apoplectic, which is to be so angry that you are speechless from anger — a rare thing for anyone who knows me. When angry I am usually coherent, but the complete lack of even a bit of logic, ability to read a contract, and bullying sent me over the edge twice in one week, and the only good news is that my heart is fine and I am not actually having a stroke.
If I could have released my anger into tears that would have been good.
Then Thursday night a dear friend called us to say she has stage 4 cancer.
Then last night I texted with another dear friend and mentor
and she is going into palliative care.
Weeping, and this brought me to how adrift I feel in the world as it is now.
Fucking social media and whatever else this world has come to has turned many into unfeeling, uncaring, unconscious (in the most basic sense of the word) inhumane beings.
They have no thought to what lays behinds decisions and no curiosity and no willingness to engage the other. In the era of Trump it is all about screaming loudly and being about as stupid as stupid can be. Even our newspapers who should be having a field day with showing us the lies are enjoying churning for profit, and so they are no longer news sources. We are a lost country in what may be a lost world.
I weep for my friends and for the huge loss coming at us as surely as the
big ball rolling toward Indiana Jones at the beginning of Raiders… and I am not talking the Covid virus but our global environmental issues. Democrats and Republicans apparently are going to elect someone who thinks of global issues as things
we need to do by 2050, or never, and then it will be too late.
Going into silence today to let myself feel the sadness.
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I teach architectural sketching,
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That annoying loud-mouth editor/critic in your head? GONE! How great would that be?