Note: The Healing Journal in its entirety
has been mostly removed with just a few images left.
This journal started out as a journal to record positive uplifting thoughts to speed my healing on what was to be a five week journey to rid my kidneys of large stones. The surgeries were in two stages. The urologist was not sure he would get all the stone out in the time I was to be under, and so a second was scheduled. At that time he would also then clean my left kidney. (Stamped images were a gift from Cathy Johnson.)
It didn’t go well, however, after leaving my personal journal
up for a few months I’ve decided to take it down.
Those interested can contact me for information or images.
Bottom Line: Ditch doctors who do not listen.
“I bow down to hurt. It is hurt that makes us grow. When we are complacent and “ladi da” we maintain the status quo. When we are challenged and face difficulties, the real work of dharma begins. I bow down to hurt. Emaho!” Barry Kerzin
Breathe in the pain and fear.
Send out sunflowers, a loving mate, summer berries,
good food, comedies and murder mysteries. Healing is sent to all those who are suffering. Compassionate abiding.
Always have gratitude for the pony hiding
in the middle of all that horseshit.
It’s got to be there somewhere.
Drawn in a handmade folded journal withe anything on hand:
Pentalic HB woodless pencil, various pens and with De Artramentis Document ink, Super5, Noodlers ink, and Daniel Smith, QoR, and Holbein watercolors.
Cover art a gift from Cathy Johnson.
I agree to Creative Commons Attribution-Non-Commercial 4.0 International License, which you can learn more about by visiting the site, or,
visit my web page for a more user-friendly summary on my terms.
My images/blog posts may be reposted; please link back to dkatiepowellart.
D.Katie Powell Art 
when I read stories like this, I become more certain that we have to be our own strong advocates when it comes to medical care. Nobody can be trusted to know everything we expect them to know when we need them to know it. We have to ask hard questions and we have to be suspect when we don’t get the right answers. This is sad, but it is necessary. I wish you all the best Kate in your continuing recovery.
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I think this is key: “We have to be suspect when we don’t get the right answers.” It is hard when you are in pain and feeling like this has to be done NOW and I have learned my lesson.
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That is the hardest part – trying to advocate when you are in pain or looking fir second opinions when you have no good referrals or time to search. I think this is one area where social media has NOT kept up with the times. Reading ‘reviews’ on the doctor’s own website is not helpful. Who knows what’s true.
I’m hoping for some kind of community-based review system, it won’t be perfect but it’s a far cry better than picking a name from the proverbial ohone book. You’d think this would have already happened but not that I’m aware of. Right now we have an excellent family ohysician to steer us to specialists. Who knows how long she will last in such a stressful career!
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Yes.
Mitchell was a good advocate, and had my niece (a nurse) and my brother (many kidney stones) at his fingertips if h=nneded. Frankly I was pushy about him being in all situations with me except the operating room itself. However, they lied their asses off about the final procedure (said there was not enough space in the room) and would not let him come in. Had he come in, my very non-violent husband might have punched someone.
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Thank you for sharing and I hope you’re starting to heal x
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I am!
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Katie – I hope the kidney stones were a onetime awful event and they don’t return! The minute you said rightside pain I wiukd have guessed kidney infection! I hope writing and posting this allows you to put much of the bad mojo in your rear view mirror and it’s smooth sailing the rest of the year💖
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Me too. I hope it is like my travel experience. I’ve led a gifted travel life but for one terrible trip to Jamaica. EVERYTHING — lost bags, filthy hotel, food you would not touch, huge bugs, and on and on. . . It took two days to get off the damn island. I offered it up to the travel demons and hoped it was the end of that experience.
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I appreciate your honesty, the rawness, the anger, the pain and the messiness of it all, and the way you’re processing the experience.
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Thank you. I enjoyed your honesty also on your blog.
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My gosh! You have been through more grief and pain and a dozen people would go through in a lifetime! Your journal is a valuable detail of what you went through. I sincerely hope that all the suffering is past and you are on the road to recovery. Saying a prayer for you now, Katie.
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You know, I often had one huge memory in my mind; that my brother died of esophageal cancer, and so I had perspective. I went through hell, but mine had a beginning and a decent ending. Many folks do not. So I still see my glass as half full. With a big calcium deposit in it! And, I will always take a prayer!
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Oh, dear, at my doctor’s office there are signs everyone that ask: “Are you in pain? You don’t have to be.” UCSF has had a major initiative to take pain seriously and work to help patients deal with it. They also take listening very seriously. If you have a complaint and register it, they try to address it. That said, I know that some doctors have rather large egos. I was once diagnosed with fibromyalgia and then later found out I’m just allergic to wheat. When I went back to the specialist to get the diagnosis changed, he told me he’d never said I had fibromyalgia, that he’d written symptoms of fibromyalgia. It didn’t matter that he’d sat across the desk from me, told me I’d had FM and then given me a brochure, telling me how to deal with it. That’s it. Both times, he shrugged his shoulders. Talk about denial. Anyway, I hope you are feeling better. This sounds like a horrific experience.
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I’m moving NOW!
My brother has had many kidney stones and tells his urologists that he knows they are plumbers, nothing more, so they don’t need to think they are brain surgeons. The god complex is big in both male and female docs. I won’t go back to him, that is for sure.
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You had quite an experience that nobody should have to go through! Your story and your advice about doctors is an enlightening read. I am so sorry you had such problems. Unfortunately people think of doctors as “gods” when some of them most definitely are not. I guess we should all listen to that inner voice and go with our gut when we feel something is wrong. Glad you are so much better now.
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Yes. I don’t wish this on anyone, and hope that this will save someone else. The scariest thing is that usually we are pretty savvy.
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It is easy to be savvy when you are pain free. When you are in pain you just want someone to act to take it away, and doing the research is so difficult. I am so sorry for the trauma you have been through, and admire how you have been able to build positives from it — and advice to the rest of us! I hope now you will be able to get back to creating art that comes from places other than pain.
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Thanks Anne; it is good to have this behind me. You can look forward to happier posts.
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This is raw, and honest and brave all wrapped up in one. Sharing your experiences must have been hard, not as hard as the nightmare you went through and it horrifies me to read such a trauma. A huge part of the reason we moved home to Australia was we were horrified by the costs and workings of healthcare system in Florida and just couldn’t find the caring doctors we wre used to. Not that Australia is perfect but I am so grateful for the system we have and that our experiences are so different. Thank goodness you are out the other side and have found the grace and wisdom to deal with it and be able to move forward. Love that strength and determination … It only makes me admire you more
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Thank you. Of course, it is nothing compared to what you walked through.
We’d move too but I can’t see how at our age. We are really unhappy with health care and many other things in our country — a country I love so much.
Huggs — I still wish you lived around the corner — or we did!
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Reblogged this on D.Katie Powell Art and commented:
You know I’ve been away a long time with a series of procedures for kidney stones. In many ways, they went terribly wrong, mostly due to the urologist I worked with. I did quite a bit of art while on my back (could not sit up with stents) and in the end, as the medical trauma set in, I created a Healing Journal. I finally decided to share it with “the world” and here it is on my other site, dedicated to my art explorations. I hope to be back at tonglen/lojong soon!
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Doctors make mistakes and not all of them seem to be terribly compassionate. Sorry to hear that you went through such a horrendous time. I was misdiagnosed initially when I had a Gallbladder polyp (my doctor thought I had a virus.) Luckily now my Gallbladder has been removed (after a particularly painful episode on holiday where I saw a different doctor) and fortunately my experience in hospital was excellent and I am now trouble free, able to eat just what I want which is a huge bonus! Your journals are very vibrant and eye catching, I expect they must have helped you deal with the trauma of this experience. Hope that you are well and healed now.
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Thank you Marje. Yes I think the journal allowed me to process in some small way the trauma. I am now all for second opinions unless you REALLY know your doctor. Glad to hear you had a surgery that went well, and BTW, amd enjoying your blog.
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Yes second opinions sound a sound idea. Glad to hear that you are enjoying my blog. Thanks for the thumbs up, yours is fabulous. 🙂
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