I  journal mornings with stream of consciousness exercises, and
I’m again participating in Linda Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday 
whenever I have time.  I write to a timer, 15-20 minutes, no editing except spelling,
and of course I add my art!  You can do it too!
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “year.”
Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

This post comes with a warning.  Read only if you can handle DEPRESSING. ~the Editor

Worst. Year. Ever.

Betrayals.  I am still not ready to write about it.
I mean, I am just too old for this shit to happen to me, shocked at how it affected me,
as I am still sad and reeling from it.

Bad clients.  Not one but THREE, and usually our clients are not like this at all.
Didn’t pay, held up payment, screwed with us.
We are a small business and don’t have a hundred small clients
to take up the slack so when several don’t pay all at once that is HUGE.
THREE.  One may come back and want to work with us again
and I just don’t know what to do…
Great potential projects, but the payment thing is just not okay.
Extremely stressful.

It was the year that Gibbs went in for a simple xray and they gave him versed,
the drug they gave my mother which flipped her out and made her hallucinate for three months.  It changed him, apparently forever, from a confident brave cat to a frightened cat who acts like he is autistic.  The drug which is given COMMONLY.
It apparently affects humans and animals the same way, messes with the brain —
gads when has that ever gone wrong — so instead of knocking an animal (human) out for a procedure, they make them “forget” it happened.  It doesn’t work well or consistently,
and I have family members in the medical profession who agree with me on this for both themselves and their animals.  It was given to me for a minor surgery.
I kept telling the assholes that I could still feel THAT  and they didn’t listen until I told them I was getting off the damn table and walking out with my body open.  Yup.
I am one of those that is immune to the damn drug working I guess.
I am sure Gibbs was traumatized in some way.  He came out of that terrified —
much more terrified that being taken into the back room should have caused
(we know this vet well).  On top of that many people (animals) also have side effects.
He has the side effects… it took him three days to stop being a bit drunk.
Now is a a sweetie who is scared of so many many things, and
occasionally gets spacey and looks at us blankly, and it is not normal.

And the vet, who should have been more concerned, wasn’t.  They have instructions never to ever use that damn drug on any animals of ours and I don’t care what the reason is…
Many vets have stopped using it altogether.  You’ve all now been warned.

And this is the year that I realized that it isn’t that we’ve had bad doctors,
it is that many doctors now are just bad, hospitals are negligent,
we have no FDA that PROTECTS THE PUBLIC, the AMA is a joke,
and shit, this coming at a time when we are getting to the age
that people might NEED the profession…

Okay, maybe I am just having a bad year.

I am thankful for the small joys of this year… Mitchell and the cats.
Mitchell and the cats and a few great friends…
I write gratitude daily and might not have made it through without it.

I am glad to see the back of it.

For the rules, go to Linda’s blog;  feel free to join the fun!